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DH and I have thought about doing IVF but only as a last result. We want to make sure that we can do everything else before that.
Do you live in IF too?
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Hello ladies :)
So I'm on day 24 of my cycle, third round of clomid. Emotional as all hell. I've been having lots of pains in my lower abdomen and using a heating pad at night, not sure if that's a good thing to do or not.
Also, I cry at the drop of a hat. Last night I broke down to my DH, because I dont' feel like I can' talk to anyone else about my feelings. Thank god for him or I'd really be lost. Plus, found out a good friend didn't know she was pregnant and went to the hospital for stomach pains only to find out she's over 15 weeks. She's been drinking the whole time. Heavy drinker. And, she posted it on FB next to her hangover posts. She still hasn't seen an OBGYN, but posts it on FB. I guess after losing a pregnany at 13 weeks, I just feel its crazy to tell people until you know for sure everything is ok. And...I'm hurt. I'm hurt that she's posting every 2 hours about how she has waited for so long and they've tried for so long (they've been married not even 2 years) and how much they deserve this miracle. She knows what I've been through...so that hurts.
This sounds crazy writing it. I know she's happy and not thinking of me now. I just pray all this pain God gives me is preparing me for the best gift of all. I know we are all going to be the best parents, for we have been through so much trying to get pregnant, that we will appreciate it more than someone that doesn't plan their pregnancy. And I have to use my friend's situation as a goal...if she can get pregnant, so can I. I have to think this way, or...I'll end up throwing breadcrumbs at myself in the park. ;)
Baby dust to all*~~~~***~*~*~*~*~**~ Hope you're week is going better than mine!
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NickiG,
I completely understand what you are going through. Clomid makes me a crazy woman! I cry, I'm angry, I'm happy, crampy, irritable, lots of headaches, etc. I feel like I go through so much each month only to be let down again and again. And not only do I feel lousy, but friends all around me are getting pregnant left and right...one with twins (I found that one out of FB). My husband is there for me for the most part and when we lost our baby at 8.5 weeks (didn't find out until 12 weeks when going to hear the heartbeat) he was absolutely heartbroken. He was totally there for me and completely supportive of the sadness and disappointment. Now that the time has passed (8 months), he becomes more irritated rather than supportive. He just keeps telling me it will happen when it's time...that's it. Reading and responding to the conversations helps me feel so much better. Knowing there are actually other people out there going through the same exact thing is my backbone. This is my support through the difficult moments. Sometimes it is so hard to be happy for some else's joy when all you feel is sorrow. In my heart I know these people will make good parents. I am currently on my 6th round of Clomid (It took 5 rounds with the previous pregnancy.). After this the doctor will do a HSG and depending on the results, go from there. I may be at the point where I actually have to visit an infertility specialist. It is so frustrating I cannot do this one simple thing. Do you know what's the next "step" after Clomid? I'm so worried that now it's going to start getting expensive. ~~~Baby dust to all~~~
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NickiG:
Thanks for sharing what your going through. I completely understand how difficult it is when you find out ANOTHER person you know is pregnant. It is very difficutl, not that your not happy for them, but because it is just another reminder that you are not pregnant. I know that it is hard to be happy for her, but maybe this will be a wake up call for her. I have a friend who found out he was going to be a dad, and he has quit partying and has started taking more responsibility. Hopefully that will happen to your friend. :) Hang in there. You can always vent to us, we understand. :) Just remember, God will not give us more than we can handle. I know that what we are going through now seems like a big deal to all of us, which it is, but we have to look at the big picture. This is a small stepping stone in life, it may seem big now, but in later we will look back and be thankful, because this is help shaping who we are. It will only make us stronger, even if it does not seem like it right now. I am praying that God will change my heart form wanting to have a baby of my own to wanting to be a mother no matter how it happens. I definitely want to be able to carry my own child and give birth, and all of those things we all want to be able to do. However, I want to be a mother above all. I hope that I am able to have children on my own, but I will be a mother through adoption if nothing else. Again, hang in there! I pray that this is your month!!!! Keep us updated!
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SAL1984:
I am so sorry for your loss! I have not had a miscarriage, but I can only imagine how horrible it is. I hope this is your month. My DH and I have been trying for a while now to start a family, next month I start Clomid. I have heard the side effects are pretty intense. It definitly helps reading everyone's post. It is encouraging to be able to bounce ideas back and forth and see what works and what doesn't. As far as your DH is concerned, I think men have a different way of handle these types of things then women. They seem to shut down more that express their feelings. I also think they just can't relate, because it is different for women. I know they want to be there for us, but there are just some things they don't understand. As a woman, there is something about being able to have a child that makes you feel complete. When women get together they talk about their children. When men get together, they talk about work, sports etc. I will be praying for you and that things go up form here for you and your DH. Baby dust your way!
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Nickgi..I am sailing in the same boat the difference is only that i m on 1st round of clomid and u r on third..Since 2 days i am feeling the same ..fighting with our loved ones without any reasons...crying for nothing...I dont want to share anything from anyone because they will not understand from what i am going through..In my family everyone is blessed with children without any hurdles but in my case i am suffering every second, minute, day...We r trying since a year....Just cant do anything except to be happy and wait...Time will come...and we hav to wait...and when it comes then he/she should hav longlife....Not in a position for any loss...
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Before starting clomid when i got my periods naturally my brother's wife and me had 2 days difference and we both TTC and we both were waiting for the news....Thanks to my PCOS I did not ovulate and it was a BFN on the other side there was BFP ...When my mom told about her for a minute i felt that everyone is making fool out of me ....i had a smile on my lips but tears in my eyes..and when I cant control the pressure I just burst out...i cried a lot ...I was happy for her but unable to express because my pain was more of it...i talked to her daily,,,so that this situation make me more strong....My dad taught me not to run from the situation just face it ...if u will run than again again it will come in ur way...I am trying my level best to do this..and on the other side i never forget my god...Take care..All the best may this month will bring lot of happiness and peace...
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Hiya ladies I know how hard and painful it is especially when everyone is getting pregnant around you ... I'm on my 2nd round of clomid and am finding it so hard moods swing hot flushes its a nightmare however on good side I'm ovulating ... I'm wishing you love and baby dust keep the faith [3 xxx
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Hello everyone!
So I had my IUI on Wednesday and now we play the waiting game again. I dont have my hopes up because Im sure I will just be let down again. If it doesnt work there is always next month! I just dont understand why it was so easy for me to get pregnant the first time. My dr thinks that endometriosis might have something to do with it since when she removed my tube due to my ectopic she found some in there that she removed. Even though she removed it she said there might be more in there that she didn't see. Im thinking that if I get my period in a couple weeks that Im going to see if I can hold off on the clomid but still go in for my ultrasound to see if Im ovulating on my own. I think not having to take a pill every month for ovulation might help my stress levels. Good luck to you all and I am praying for you.
~~~Baby Dust to all of you!~~~
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I don't know what I would do without you ladies. :) Thanks for all the kind words and support. I feel like this is the only place I can truly speak of how I feel. My family just doesn't get it, they all got pregnant right way, and instead of trying to understand, they shut down and avoid me.
I agree, the DH's try very hard to be supportive, but, they are not us. Plus, I carry the overwhelming burden that this is my fault. My DH is fine, and I'm the reason we cant' get pregnant. Thats something I'm dealing with and he'll never understand.
I lost the pregnancy in January 2011. I think this is why I am so emotional this month as well. I also carry the fear of it happening again if I finally do get pregnant. The first time, after a year of trying I had the laperscopic surgery. They found my tubes were closed so they blew them open with dye. I got pregnant immediately. I've since had 2 more of the surgeries, and now they've found endo & cysts, which they removed. I still can't get pregnant. I honestly think its my tubes. So, if this round doesnt' work, I will have to go for another laperscopy and then talk about IVF.
Sal1984 - Dont' wait to visit a fertility dr. But just make sure you find one that cares about you, and not just selling you car..er..baby. (I had this experience in DC)
CMR - Thats what I'm going through right now. I have always wanted to adopt. I have to get to that point where I am giving up on carrying my own child though. I'm not there yet. I did look into adoption though, and am sickened by the amount of money it costs. It's bascially put me into a situation where I spend all my money on IVF or Adoption. Now, if I become pregnant without having to pay for IVF, I will adopt as well. My grandmother was adopted and I wouldnt be here if it weren't for her. I just wish I could do both, but I know life doesn't always work out that way.
Jinni - Man do I knwo about the suffering. Yesterday, a friend told me "not to think about it." WOW. Why didn't I think of that!!! I have spent every day thinking about it for almost 4 years, believe me, if there was a way to stop, I would. I pray (and cry) to God to make the suffering go away. No one understands it unless you're going through it. But I can tell you, I will appreciate being a mom more than anything in the world if it ever happens.
Good luck everyone! Hopefully 2013 will be a good year for us! Thanks for all the support! *~*~~*~*~BABY DUST to you!!! **~*~*~*~*~*
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Hello all, I just wanted to share some good news. My progesterone went up to a normal level this month! 2nd round of clomid I have been exhausted! I get to take HPT next week, the wait is excruciating!!!
NikiG- I really like what u said about being a mother not just wanting to birth a child, that statement is enlightening! That statement blessed me today thank you! I'll be praying for you and the rest of you ladies also. Baby dust to you all.........
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Hi ladies. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and found out that I would need to see a specialist due to the fact that things aren't working. I am on my 2nd round of clomid and I was suppose to get my period yesterday day but didn't and I also test which came back negative...now I have to wait until tomorrow and retest because the doctor thinks that I may be but the signs may take longer with me. While I wait to go to the specialist she did agreed to do 2 more rounds with me. I'm hoping for the best.
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mtaylor829: I also had an IUI on Wednesday (my first) so it looks like we're on the same schedule! I did Clomid days 5-9, then the trigger shot on Tuesday and the IUI 24hrs later. I wanted to be sure I ovulated, so went back on Thursday for another u/s and it looks like I did, so now we just wait. Can I ask, was it painful for you? I thought it was just going to be like a pap smear, but for me the IUI was way more painful than I thought it would be (or maybe I'm just a wimp haha). It's worth it though if it gets me pg, and at least I'll know what to expect the next time. Good luck to you, and keep us posted in two weeks when you test!
NickiG: I can totally relate to how you feel, about carrying the burden of it being your fault. I feel so guilty for not being able to give my dh a child. I don't think he sees it that way, but it hurts just the same, especially when everytime I read my People.com app it shows another pregnant celebrity! I adore my dh, but he has a hard time putting himself in my shoes. If he tells me one more time to 'just relax, it will happen' I'm going to flip out.
Thank you all for keeping this chat going. It's such a comfort to know I can talk to people here who know exactly what I'm going through.
Baby dust to you all!
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Prayerful4lilones...
Great news for the increase in the level..Just cross ur finger and and hope for the best...God bless u and surely this month will be urs....
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kittymom: Thats awesome that we are on the same schedule! I did everything the same way that you did. I wouldnt say it hurt or anything but it was definitely uncomfortable lol...I prefer the natural way if possible lol. My dr. said it looked like I had ovulated so we will see. If it dosent work there is always next month...You keep us updated as well :)
~~Baby Dust to All!~~
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