what to do?
5 Replies
christina - June 2

hi girls,
as i am sitting here minding my business, my friend calls and starts with questiong me again, now i am down worrying about getting my a/f, and need this, she tells me can i dye my hair while taking clomid! are ya kidding, i feel like her therapists and here i am trying to get support and get through this but everyday she calls with how she is trying, questions what to do, and goes into detail! how would you handle this in a polite way, cause seriously i have been through hell and back to have a baby, every imaginaebale medicine, procedure tests and surgery, and my heart cant handle any more and i was finally feeling good, as good as ya could and going on with adoption procedures and she calls to antaginize me! a real freidn wouldnt constantly badger and throw digs right? knowing especially the situation.any advice?

 

christina - June 2

ps-its not like she is seeking comfort she is very annoying about it, she actually comes in your face when your with her at a party or whaever and says question, do you think this and that, and not hey i could use a friend and know can etc....its constant questions and tells me ideas and baby names and thmese and depresses me more.

 

Melissa - June 2

Is she pg, or ttc, or just constantly in your face about your business?

 

christina - June 2

she was pregnant and misscarried, now trying again, she only recently started maybe a month or two between all this occuring, she is always throwing her being so fertile in my face yet she is on all kinds of fertility drugs and only two months into trying which i dont understand, but she calls and tells me every detail of her sexlife, and when they try, and what room is gonna be her nursery, and its a game to her to get pregnant and she is being very immature and competetive she says she will be preg, first and you know whats funny she is in her late thirties acting like this.if she really wants a baby she needs to grow up a bit.

 

Melissa - June 2

Before I got to the point where you mentioned she was being competative I was thinking it sounded like she's competing against you. I would just (politely of coarse) let her know that with all you are going through right now that you can not bear to talk about pregnancy, infertility, or conception. Tell that you are just not strong enough to think about it constantly (even though it's not true). If she was honestly a true friend she would have already sensed your discomfort. But, she obviously hasn't. So, if you lose her from being tactful and expressing your need for sanity and daily living then you'd be better off. BUT, you could also take the passive approach. You could just stop calling (except for maybe once a month) and answering her calls (if you have caller id or an answering machine). Then she'd get by without saying nasty things to you so that when you did speak it wouldn't be all about that. Good luck.

 

christina - June 2

thanks a bunch! great advice.appreicate it.

 

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