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Hey MilvaZac. I see that you are going through quite a dilemma at the moment. I come from a conservative family where abortions and underage pregnancies are a taboo. Despite this, it is important to consult a doctor now. By trying to hide your first pregnancy, you had to face severe consequences. It seems that you went to a shady clinic which made matters worse for you. The past can't be undone, but the future can be adjusted. Go to a doctor and be open about your past. I know you are scared that people will find out about your previous pregnancy and abortion. Actually, only the doctor will know. Consultations with doctors are confidential so you don't need to worry about the news getting out. Besides, doctors deal with such things regularly so they will hardly feel the need to gossip about it. All things aside, it is highly important to go to a good doctor. Only then can you determine the best course of action to take. Good luck!

I can see the internal conflict you must be going through. Just stay strong. Hopefully, you will make it out okay in the end. Although for that, you need to keep a few things in mind. Wanting to keep your previous pregnancy a secret does not mean you need to suffer in silence. That will be unfair to you and your husband. You both deserve a chance to have a child. By not opting for a treatment you are denying yourself that chance. Go to a doctor. Tell him/ her about your previous pregnancy. Also, about the abortion that followed. This will help him understand your situation completely. It will also help maximize the chances of a successful treatment. If unfortunately, that does not work then you can think of surrogacy. I hope things work out for you.

We live in a strange world. Where women are expected to suffer in silence. Instead of being open about these things. Abortion and underage pregnancies are considered a taboo. I agree that 14 was too young for that. Despite that, keeping it a secret won't change that. In fact, the silence is making it worse. If she had been given the confidence to share her story then she might not be in the position she is in now. It seems that the hospital she went to for the abortion made some mistake. Which is why she is unable to conceive now. Instead, if she had told someone and gone to a better place she might not be in this position today. I would suggest that you don't make the same mistakes as before. Talk about your concerns. Only then can you find the best solution for them. Good luck!

Hello dear. I know you must be feeling so lost. I just want you to know that you aren't alone. What happened in the past is most unfortunate. Despite that, you don't need to let it set the tone for the rest of your child. You made a mistake as a child. Everyone does. Some just have to pay a bigger price. Don't let your price be staying childless forever. Go to a doctor. Discuss the best way to go about it now. Don't worry about people finding out. Your conversations with a doctor are private. Go alone if you are scared of your secrets leaking out. I hope you find a way to treat your infertility. Keep us updated.

"Hi Milva,

I am sorry to hear that :(

In a situation like this, it's very important that you stay calm and try to think of the options and explore them further.

Surrogacy is a great, as a matter of fact, the best, option from the list of alternatives.

They do require medical certificates claiming infertility and approval for stimulation process. I do feel that you should consider telling your parents. Parents, no matter how many mistakes we make in life, will forgive us. Once they know all about it, then this issue will not be yours...that's the beauty of sharing. However, I don't think telling of this to your husband/BF will be very wise.

About the documents, I am pretty sure they require what I mentioned above but I'd also recommend checking with the clinic in Ukraine (name's BioTexCom) to know further. They provide an option for a free consultation on email. Visit their web and head to the consultation section.

Further, please take a great care of yourself. Depression has so many negative impacts on your fertility, so please avoid it. It'll make the situation look even worse.

I pray everything turns out well for you...

Good Luck!"

"Don't keep it to yourself, darling. We all make mistakes in our lives. These mistakes have takeaways for us, like in your case would be to never do it again. That's it. They are not there to ruin your life. You don't deserve that. I'd also like to advise telling your parents as it would relieve your pain.

Further, you still can have a surrogate baby. My sister has a healthy surrogate boy.

About the reports - I remember my sister telling me that they need two medical docs.

Like the user above, I'd also recommend contacting the reproduction center directly and know what are those docs, maybe they are different from the ones you think.

I hope things get better and you can enjoy your times with your baby!"

Your situation is a little bit complicated. I know how it feels. The feeling of regret is pretty draining and strong to overcome. I think you should become strong and look around yourself. I know its late for you, but you shouldn't make it later. Well, I think you should forget your past from now. Take a further step to go straight with your husband on this, I think he will support you if he is mature enough. Secondly, as far as surrogacy is concerned.I think you should try a clinic which comes with customer privacy like there is kind of an agreement in surrogacy cases. Well, my sister went to Ukraine last year for it. There is a clinic, she was also concerned about her privacy. So, there was an agreement between them and the clinic. It was pretty accurate and comfortable for my sister to go for it. It respects customer's privacy. I think you really need it, as you don't want your issue to get out. :)

Dear! your case is a little bit difficult. I know how it kills you; I know the feeling of regretting something. I think you should take it off now. It's time! You have suffered pretty much. Just take it as it was your destiny. You can't control your life. I know its hard but you should do it. Take your husband in confidence and tell him how you feel about it. Tell him everything in this regard! You guys deserve better! Start considering options like surrogacy; because of its the only way without wasting time. It will really help you out of it. :))

Hi! It’s very unfortunate about your whole story. We have to deal with the consequences of our mistakes any time in our life. That is why we need to be careful with the decisions we make and your decision was obviously the wrong one. You should have had the delivery and told the truth at that moment but nothing can be done now. If you want to have a baby so I can help you with that. You can go for surrogacy but then you will not be able to hide the truth. So you have no chance now. But you can make everything right by having a baby by surrogacy. As you have mentioned about the tests that the clinic wants before they start the surrogacy process, so let me tell you that those tests are to assure about your infertility and the reasons to it. Because without it the clinic will not find you fit in their criteria and you might get rejected. So you will have to take some tests and send it to the clinic. I hope that if you tell the clinic about what happened to you then they will accept your case. This is the last option you have. You should go for it and hope for the best dear. It’s up to you that if you want to tell all the truth to your husband or not but you will have to tell it to the clinic. If you are not feeling comfortable with that clinic, let me know. I also know about a clinic and I hope that might serve you well. Till then take and all the best.

Oh, girl. You have made pretty serious mistakes in your life. I feel very upset for your condition. You should accept the fact that you are responsible for your condition. Now, instead of just feeling guilty and upset you need to figure out a way. You should have at least gone to a proper clinic. I don’t know what they did to you. They removed your uterus or they effected it badly, I can’t even make a guess. The clinic that you are going to choose for surrogacy will always ask you for some test reports or they will ask you to take tests in the clinic. It is to know the reason behind your infertility. So I am sorry dear that you cannot hide your past if you want to have a baby. But if your situation can improve but having a baby through surrogacy then this is the last resort for you. You should not waste this opportunity. The best is to discuss it with your husband and your doctor. I know you don’t feel good to tell it to your husband because the conditions get worse. You ought to figure a way about it by yourself. All I can help you is to guide about surrogacy and a good clinic for it. Look, a baby is the most important thing for you now. The baby will make your bod stronger between you and your husband. You can tell him the truth after you have the baby. Just don’t send false results to the clinic. Okay. Everything will be just fine. Hope for the best!