Affordable surrogacy
3 Replies
Lorrry - March 1

Hello everyone! I hope you'll help me with some advice and information. I'll start from the beginning so it will be clear what I'm asking for.

Back in 2013 I was diagnosed with cancer of a uterus. I went through operation, chemo, treatments, etc. It's been almost 4 years since I beat cancer. I'm so happy that nightmare is over. Our family is getting back to normal life. The only thing which puts me down is that I'm infertile and I'm not able to carry a baby.

My husband and I have been together for 17 years already. We don't have children but we really want to. I've been thinking about surrogacy for a couple of months. When the idea of having this procedure came to my mind I shared it with my best friend. She told me to forget about it because it's too expensive. She knows about our financial situation. My cancer pulled so much money from us. I can't say we are poor, but we don't have $200 000 to pay at once... Also we'll need money for our child if we ever have one... Also she said that there are so many problems with surrogate mothers. There are many poor women among them with bad genetics. And also that there are many scammers and they can leave children to themselves.

I'm lost and scared. When I think that I won't ever have kids... It breaks my heart. Maybe there are cheaper options somewhere? We are ready to go abroad. I will appreciate any information about costs and process itself. Where should I start my research on surrogacy? Should I start it at all? Thank you in advance!

 

karen009 - March 1

Hello OP! I'm sorry about your situation. Where did you get this price $200 000? I know surrogacy is very expensive in USA and they do have such prices. Here in Europe you can easily find cheaper options with same services.

"Also she said that there are so many problems with surrogate mothers."

If you find professional and qualified clinic there will be no problems. Usually problems occur when you find surrogate by yourself. Even in this case if you have a good lawyer you can solve them.

"There are many poor women among them with bad genetics."

Well I think that it's their own business why they apply into surrogacy programs. Even if they just want to earn some money I think there is nothing to do with you. Bad genetics? First of all, women undergo medical examination before becoming surrogates. Second of all, their genetics has nothing to do with your child. Surrogate will only carry your baby. She's not related to it in any way.

"And also that there are many scammers and they can leave children to themselves."

No one will leave your baby. Again, if you find professional and qualified clinic there will be no problems. Surrogates sign contracts. So they can't refuse giving a child to intended parents. Usually problems occur when you find surrogate by yourself. Even in this case if you have a good lawyer you can solve them.

I had surrogacy back in 2015. We paid around $35,000. We went for surrogacy abroad because here finding a surrogate can take months or even years. We didn't use any agency. I think it's just waste of money. There are many clinics which you can contact directly and know all info you need. There are many websites where you can find ratings of the best clinics, their prices, success rates, etc.

 

Lorrry - March 1

Thank you for support and information! You've helped me very much to understand the process. I didn't mean to offend anyone. You are right. It's their own business why they apply into surrogacy programs. Thank you for clarifying this process for me. I'm new to this and I didn't really catch how all this works. Your words put some of my worries aside. As I know more now it will be easier for me to search for a clinic. These details made the process much clear for me. I really appreciate your help! I made the right thing posting here. This board is so supportive and helpful. May I ask where did you have surrogacy?

 

Isida - March 27

Hello, dear. $200,000 sounds too much, it’s true. I’m sure you can find cheaper options. I also heard that European clinics offer lower prices. As far as I know the level of medicine is pretty high there. I think you should contact several clinics to figure out their prices and other info you might need. After that you can choose the one you like.
If you choose a good clinic, there will be no need to worry about the surrogate. Doctors will do everything for you. All high quality clinics have their own databases of the surrogates. All of them are carefully checked. So, they will choose the best one for you. Please, don’t even try to look for the surrogate on your own. This can cause a lot of problems for you. You will have to sign an agreement with the clinic. It will protect you whatever happens.
I met a lot of couples, which used the help of the surrogates. All of them are happy parents today. By the way, I am a psychologist at the center, which helps infertile couples. That’s why I completely understand what you are talking about. And I’m very glad that you have chosen the surrogacy as an option. It is absolutely safe nowadays. Doctors are doing their best to help infertile couples, it’s true. That’s why I completely support your idea.
I know that you are scared. You should try to calm down. Your problem has a solution and it is very important. Kids, born by the surrogates, are absolutely the same as those, which were born in a natural way. Your life will change when you see your kid for the first time. It is such a great feeling. I wish you all the best.

 

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