Awful 5 years
14 Replies
Prettywoman - August 27

Hello, everyone. My story started 5 years ago. I was married and we were trying to get pregnant. I had a dream to give birth to a pretty little girl, but it was just a dream. You can't even imagine how happy I was when I found out that I was pregnant. For the first time... And for the second time... And for the third time... So, three miscarriages per 5 years. It was the worst period of my life. My husband left me when we found out that I'm infertile. That's why now I'm a 40 years old divorced woman. But I still dream to become a mother. My heart is broken. I'm not sure I'm ready to get married again. Is there a chance to adopt a child without being married? Or any other recommendations? Please, help me fulfill my dream.


Isida - August 27

Hello, dear. What a sad story. But I can say that there are a lot of women which had miscarriages and are infertile now. This is not a reason for divorce. Your husband is an idiot. Also, this is not a reason not to get married again. You can still find a great man which could become a great father for your kids. It is not an easy task to be a single mother. You will definitely need some help.
Regarding the solutions for you. I believe you can adopt a kid without being married. I'm sure you will need a lot of documents. And it will take some time to check everything out and to find a baby for you. But I think you can do it. If you have enough money to rise the baby up.
I also recommend you so think about surrogacy. You can use the donor eggs. With the help of the surrogate mother you can get a baby which will be genetically yours. And it all takes 9 months only.


MaryAnn - August 27

I have the same thoughts as Isida. You shouldn't put your hands down with your opportunities of getting married. Keep dating men, you are still so young. What if one of them is your soulmate. Your future kid will definitely need a father. It is amazingly hard to be a single parent. I've been a single mother for 10 years and thank God I got married last year. Now I feel much better as my husband helps me a lot. I have more time for my hobbies. I don't have to work all day long to make sure that my kid will have what to eat. He is not a genetic father of my kid but they love each other so much.
Now we are thinking of one more kid. And this kid will be adopted! It was my dream since childhood. To adopt a little baby which was left by his/her genetic parents. I think it's a big deal.
Anyway it's your life and it's up to you. Just try to make a right decision.


Prettywoman - August 27

Thank you for your recommendations. I will do my best to find a man of my dream but I'm still not sure if it is possible. I'm not 25 and I am infertile. It makes some difficulties. I was reading about adoption and I thought it was my only chance to become a Mom. But I'm not sure if I can adopt being single. I've heard that they give babies to couples only.
Isida, you were speaking about surrogacy. Is it legal? What should I do to find a surrogate mother? Do I need any special documents? Is it expensive? How long does it take to make all the preparations?
I don't know any couple which used this service. So if you have some good examples, please, share. I would appreciate. I don't even know what to start from. It sounds too innovative for me)))


Isida - August 27

First of all try to find an apropriate reproduction center. They will give you all the necessary recommendations. You will take a lot of tests, like blood tests and so on. After that they will help you to choose an egg donor. In case if you find a husband, you will not need an egg donor. After that they will find a surrogate mother for you. She should have a good overall health and possibility to undergo a pregnancy with minimum amount of risk to her own and baby’s health. If you approve an egg donor and a surrogate, the doctors will start the embryo transfer.
It is legal in most countries. I recommend you to find the clinic in Ukraine.
If I'm not mistaken it takes 21 days to find out if your surrogate is pregnant. And 9 months to carry the baby))
I don't know which documents you should prepare. Contact the clinic and they will give you the full list. I can say the same about the price.
The only thing I know is that you will need a good lawyer. You will have to sign the contract. To protect yourself and your future baby.


MaryAnn - August 27

By the way, my best friend gave birth to her daughter with the help of the surrogate mother. I can say it was a hard period of her life, but at the same time it was a great pleasure. She was visiting her surrogate two times a week. She was bringing her some tasty food, they were walking together and so on. They even went to the seaside together. I can say that they became good friends. But just for 9 months))
I can say that the surrogacy is not just legal but also 100% safe. You will be mentioned as a biological parent of the baby. The surrogate mother will not be even mentioned in the birth certificate. No one will never find out that you gave birth to your kid with the help of another woman. So, you have nothing to worry about.
I've read a lot of successful stories about surrogacy. This service helped a lot of infertile couples to realize their dreams. I believe it can help you become a mom.
Pay attention not only to clinics but also try to choose the best doctor. It is very important. I wish you to become a mom as soon as possible.


Prettywoman - August 27

I really appreciate your help, girls. I still have some questions. Is there a chance that the surrogate mother will keep the baby? Will I be able to choose the surrogate? If I go to Ukraine, how will I communicate with the doctors and the surrogate? What tests will I have to take before the embrio transfer? Can I ask the surrogate to live in my house? It may sound strange, but I want to be sure that she is safe.


Isida - August 27

There's no chance that the surrogate will keep the baby. As I said before, you will sign the contract. The surrogate will have to follow all the terms carefully. This is the task for your lawyer.
On the role of the surrogate mother you can choose relative, friend or completely outside person. It depends on your wishes and preferences. The doctors will choose you an appropriate surrogate mother. They have a data base of surrogate mothers who meet all needed requirements. But you will be able to approve the chosen surrogate.
You will easily communicate with the doctors and your surrogate with the help of the translator. I believe they have one.
I don't know exactly what tests you will have to take. Blood tests for sure, hormones, etc.
Your surrogate mother will be constantly taking a lot of tests. You will be able to see the results. This is the best way to control her. That's why I'm not sure you will need to live in the same house with her. I don't think that she will agree)))


dazzyshahu - August 29

Hello, dear. It is truly a sad story and even my eyes are wet after hearing your story. I know what are you feeling right now and going through the terribly phase. Your story is really an inspirational too. There are many women who are facing infertility issues in their life but also get the complete support of their husbands too. Leaving the wife after the infertility issue is the sign of coward. Your husband was an idiot who left you in this phase. But my dear, you are truly a gem who never lose the hope and still have the courage to adopt the child. Being a single mother is not so easy tasking but worthy too. I just want to suggest you to go for the check up once again and ask about the IVF or surrogacy test. It helps in enhancing the chance to get pregnant and you can have your own baby rather than adopting. I know you are living alone but it is the time to take care about health and get over the situation. You should not give up and keep the mind positive if you want to get better result in your life.
All I want to say you need to take proper rest and concentrate on your health too. I hope you would like my suggestion and go for the best test which defeat the infertility and help in conceiving the baby. You need to eat the high nutrients foods daily and add the minerals and vitamins foods in your diet. I can understand your condition this time but you are truly an inspirational for other women who are facing the same condition like you.


snjeza1 - September 19

H! I am so sad to read about your problem. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for you to deal with that problem. I know it is hard to deal it when you are alone. I am praying for you to work something out. It is difficult decision but I know that you will decide for the best.


janajana1 - September 20

Hi! I am Jana. I am new at this post. I know how difficult it is to face with that problem. I have a friend that have a similar problem. I agree with snjeza1. It is a very difficult decision but you will decide what is the best for you. My hopes and prayes are with you.


Anjlina - September 20

Hi dear, its very sad and my sympathies are with you....You can go with adopting a child and its even a noble cause but if you want to have your own baby then that is even possible in this era...One of my friend's sister got pregnant in her 40s and now her baby is 1 year old and its all because of some ,medical treatment she had, I don't know the actual term for that but I think you have to concern some specialist and if you don't want to go at any clinic even then you can get professional advice. There is one Webinar going on with experts, if you want I can search and give you exact address of same...many blessings....


susy123 - September 20

Hi! I am so sad to read about your problem. I also have a friend that got pregnent in her 40s. It is possible if you want to have yor own child. Don't give up. It is the worst you can do. If you think that is no way to have your own child because of the love problems maybe you consider adopting. I am sure that you will give all your love to a child no mather what.


snjeza1 - September 20

Yes, I agree that adopting is a very good option. But dont't give up if you want your own child. It is not to late.I think that everything is happening for a reason. Maybe you can meet some one who will be with you no mather what. If you still cannot stay pregnant today their are other options. Adopting is one, surogat is another.


zawadipet - September 26

Hello, Pretywoman.
Your story has touched me. Being married and experiencing five miscarriages is a painful experience a woman can ever go through. Many women experience such a situation like yours, and their men don't leave them like the way your ex-hubby did. The fact that you miscarried and later found that you are infertile should not take away happiness from you. By the way, you can get yourself a man, who will love you more than your first husband and together you can walk to a fertility clinic to further your dream of becoming a mother. Many women have walked this path, and now happiness is their portion.
You need to go to a fertility center where you will get the best professional advice about your issue. Some tests will be done to you before you shall have to go through the process of choosing an appropriate donor and surrogate mother. The choice of surrogate mother will take up the pregnancy for you without any risk to herself or the baby. This process will not take you long; the embryo transfer can only get done upon your approval of both the surrogate mother and egg donor. Cheer up!



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