3 miscarriages in past 9 years
18 Replies
MilanaK - April 25

Hello everyone! I’m new to this forum. Usually I don’t discuss my problem, but now I feel like I really need this. I've already shared my problem on another forum, but didn't get any reply so far. I really need your help!

I’m lost and I need some piece of advice. I have no one to talk to about my infertility struggle. My husband supports me, but it is so hard for me to share my feeling with him. We’ve gone through a lot and this hurt both of us. All of our friends have children. I’ve heard so many announcements during last 9 years I’ve lost count. People who don’t know our situation constantly asking what we are waiting for, it’s time to have kids. I’m so tired…

I had 3 MCs during past 9 years. The last one was 3 months ago. I’m broken and devastated. I can’t take this anymore. I don’t want to torture myself and my dh again. I’m thinking about surrogacy. My husband is against this idea. First of all surrogacy is illegal here in Italy. I told him we could go abroad. But he said this is too expensive. We googled prices in the USA and they are really high… But we could take a loan or smth like that… He doesn’t want to listen. I’m almost 40. My chances to carry a healthy child won’t get better. I feel strongly about surrogacy. How to explain my husband that this option is the best for us?

Also I decided to start collecting information about surrogacy process. I will appreciate any information! Where will be better to go for surrogacy? What are prices? What is the process? How to find surrogate mother? So sorry for such a big post and so many questions! Thank you in advance!

 

karen009 - June 23

Hi dear! I'm so sorry about your losses. I can't even imagine how this was hard for you. It's great you continue to look for options! Please be strong and don't give up. I know exactly how it feels when everyone around is getting pregnant. You want to be happy for them but at the same time you feel angry at the world.
When my DH and I first started to look for surrogacy info we were shocked by prices. USA has huge costs! We don't have such money. Their costs varies from $100 000 to $150 000. It is prohibitive price for us. Speaking about Greece, their prices are lower. Their costs varies from $60 000 to $80 000. Also I had a fear of scammers. There are a lot of fake agencies, who have only one aim – to pull out all your money. Be very careful in your search! Speaking about India, it turned out, that they canceled surrogacy for foreigners. You should remember, then it may cost even more in the end. I know that in some clinics they may just give you list of services (which were not discussed previously) after delivery to pull more money.
As for me, I consider reviews both positive and negative. It means a lot to be aware of all sides and cases of clinic. Also it is better to contact clinics directly. They usually have websites, where you can find their phone number or email. Don’t forget to study thoroughly official sites of clinics! Conditions, prices, services, photos, videos. Some clinics have videos, where they tell some details about their treatments and approaches. Also pay attention, what documents you’ll need there and what services they provide. For example, if you are looking for clinic abroad, they may help you to comfort your residence in foreign country.
We had our surrogacy in Europe. There are many clinics with reasonable price and great service. So I'd advise you to look more into European clinics. I think it will help to convince your husband! I wish you best of luck! If you need to talk I'm always here for you)

 

rakialulu - June 27

I want to use this means to let the world know that all hope is not lost Getting pregnant after having tubes clamped and burned, I know IVF and Reversal could help but it way too cost, i couldn't afford it either and i so desire to add another baby to my family been trying for 5 years, not until i came across Priest Babaka, who cast a pregnancy/Fertility spell for me and i got pregnant.l hope that women out there who are going through the same fears and worries l went through in GETTING PREGNANT , will find your contact as i drop it here on this site, and solution will come to them as they contact you. Thank you and God bless you to reach him email via: babaka.wolf AT gmail.com or visit his website: priestbabakatemple.webs.com

 

xGirl - July 13

Hi dear, I hope you are doing well. I know a clinic in Kiev, Ukraine, That won't cost you much. It provides you with transportation, accommodation and food for free. Then the managers will meet you, And The initial consultation is also free. Plus, all of the surrogacy contracts include unlimited attempts. You just need to prove that your health conditions don't allow you to carry a child. You need a letter from your doctor to prove it. The clinic is ISO certified which guarantee that their services meet your expectations. If you need more information, Feel free to ask anytime.

 

saurab015 - July 13

Hello Dear and a warm welcome ,
I'm sorry about your losses in past 9 years, i know a lady she had 6 MC she was devastated by it and finally chooses to get pregnant with surrogacy on Donor's eggs , she told me about a clinic in kiev, ukraine where she was treated name of the clinic is Biotexcom and i suggest you to visit their.. Good luck

 

katiebarber - July 15

hello dear,i am so sorry about that,i have had a friend whose had other infertility issues and she never gave up.ever heard of biotexcom? she got her treatment there you should try them out.....goodluck

 

MilanaK - July 29

Hello girls! Wow I'm impressed to see all your replies! Thank you so much for support and information! I'll consider everything you've told. I see that many of you advised Ukrainian clinics, are they that good? I've never considered this country but now I'm all into it! I will be so grateful if you give more details about this clinic. I'll definitely make my own research on it!

 

MilanaK - July 29

karen009 thank you for support. This is so hard when no one understands... I'm not the one who talks about problems and feelings much, but sometimes there are so many things inside... It seems like I want to scream, want to talk everything out but there is no one to hear... All my friends have children and there is no chance for them to understand my feelings.

Yeah, prices are crazy! I'm afraid surrogacy will take all our money and even more. But I'm ready for everything just to become a mother! Thanks for a warning. Now I'll pay even more attention to my search. The last thing I want is some fraudster to take our money!

I appreciate your help! I'm so grateful you gave me all this information. It will definitely make my search easier. I'll tell everything to my dh! I hope he will change his mind. May I ask you to tell more about your surrogacy procedure? Which clinic have you used? It would be really great to know more about your experience!

 

dazzyshahu - August 29

Hello dear. I am really sorry for your losses. It is very difficult to handle own after struggling so hard in life. I can understand your situation very well because I have gone through such situation in my life. When I was newly married and decide to have baby then we find that I can’t get fertile and unable to become a mother. It terribly hurts me but I never lose the hope and finally I am blessed with twins. After knowing about your story I just want to say you do not need to lose the hope and seek for the opportunity to get pregnant and I am sure your dream will fulfill soon. It is the advance medical research generation where everything is possible. There are many women who faced infertility issues and finally defeat with courage and support. You can also get pregnant and become a mother of a sweet child. I know you want the surrogacy treatment but it is expensive and illegal in your country. But rather than this you can go with the IVF which is beneficial for your health and enhance the chance to get pregnant.
Surely you won’t need to think twice and it is the best option and opportunity to get pregnant and start a new phase in your life. You just need to take care of your health and need the complete support and care of your husband. If you want a healthy and sweet baby then you should concentrate on your balanced diet and go for the minerals and iron rich foods. You can add the high nutrients foods in your diet and drink plenty of water and fresh juice. I wish you all the best dear.

 

janajana1 - September 20

Hi! I am so sorry that you are going through that. I know it is hard to deal with that issue. I had a lots of problems to concieve but nothing like that. Probably you think that there is no light on the end of the tunel but you mustn't give up. I hope you will solve your problem.Take care.

 

Arose - September 27

Hi
I think it is becoming painful to you. Especially if we consider that everyone in your neighborhood is conceiving and you are the only couple that is yet to conceive. And again, you are entering the danger zone. Perhaps at 40, you still have one or two years to try. After that, you will have the menopause dragon to fight. Nevertheless, you must continue trying. Now I was wondering if you have undergone any fertility test. The reason for this is that you have mentioned trying IVF, surrogacy and IUI. Well IUI addresses particular cases of infertility. So I would recommend that you get tested to ascertain the nature of your problem before resorting to IUI, IVF or surrogacy. Just in case you go for IUI, and it doesn’t give the desired results, I suggest that you consider going for IVF and finally surrogacy. This process has been used to deliver up to 5 million children ever since the first case was reported in 1978. It is a reliable process that can be used to sort out problems as a result of multiple infertility. Let’s wait and see.

 

MilanaK - September 30

Hello everyone who's following my thread! I'm so surprised to see so many replies. I want to thank all of you for support and advices. This means a lot for me. I am so sorry I wasn't active for a while. It's been more than 2 months since I posted last time. The reason of it is that during this time 2 of my friends announced their pregnancy. They are pregnant with 2nd and 3rd child. To be honest that broke me down completely. I still didn't recover from my last miscarriage. All these announcements caused me to be depressed even more. Now I have completely isolated myself from friends and relatives. All they do is talk about children which make me to feel so miserable. I don't understand what have I done to deserve this?? I'm constantly asking a question " why me?" Everyone around is so happy. They get pregnant, give birth, rise children. And I'm just losing and waiting for a miracle to come into my life. To be honest I have thoughts to give up. I'm so tired and exhausted. We've been trying to conceive for 9 years! That is crazy! Literally nothing worked for us. Even our intention to have surrogacy doesn't make the situation better. How do you cope with pregnancy announcements? How it can be possible not to be upset about each of them? I feel myself so bad that I can't be happy for my friends. It's unbearable to see other couples live happily, rising their kids. It feels like we are cursed. I just don't feel now that I can keep going. I hope to hear you girls. Maybe you can advise something which can give me strength to move forward. This is cry from my heart. I'm lost and very bad thoughts are on my mind.

 

Lilac - October 2

Hello OP! I have same concerns now. My dh and I have been ttc for 8 years already. I've got pregnant 2 years ago, but I've lost my baby on 7th month. I’ve lost my fertility and there no chance for us to conceive any more. Not only it's hard for me to even think about surrogacy, I'm still in pain after our loss, but also prices make it seem like there is no chance for us to have children. I've been thinking to ask my dh sister or my bff to carry a baby for us. I made some hints while talking to them. It was clear for me they don't want to do this. And I don't blame them! I understand that not everyone is ready to become a surrogate. So now I hope to find cheaper options... I know that there are not really expensive variants in Europe. My dh is completely for going there. He makes his own research. Maybe he'll find something... But I think it's better to go to US. High prices show that there is high guarantee of success. At the same time it's so upsetting that we will have to take a loan to have surrogacy there... To be honest, I'm lost. I feel bad all the time. This whole situation is so stressful...

 

Isabelmason - October 5

Children are the most ultimate gift from the God. The individuals who don't have kids are the unluckiest individual I should state. I can feel the torment of the lack of proper fortune of not having kids. With Children, individuals appreciate life entirely and joyfully as kids are everything. I can't talk about my childlessness with any individual from my family since I feel inadequate. I can't likewise speak about because they will be more thoughtful towards me, which I would prefer not to. Individuals don't comprehend the explanation for the issue. They just concentrate on the subject and censure it. This everything is making me lonelier. I was an energetic individual who used to carry on with each snapshot of existence with grin and delight. Presently I incline that I am a fragmented individual. I dislike others as others are honored with kids. I can't have them because of my sickness. My sickness is getting at the forefront of my thoughts. I feel that I will get another malady that can be of mental illness because of sadness.

 

MaryAnn - October 6

Hello, Milana. I was crying reading your story. What a hard life you have. 9 months of TTC is really a lot. You definitely need help. You know, surrogacy is a great idea. My friend’s daughter was born by the surrogate. She is absolutely healthy and beautiful girl. I often visit them and enjoy spending time with her. As for me, this is 100% natural and safe way to give birth. It doesn’t matter who gave birth to your baby. You will become parents and it is the most important.
There are a lot of countries, which offer surrogacy legally. USA is one of the most expensive countries. I recommend you to go to Europe. For example Ukraine. That’s where my friend’s daughter was born. The reproduction center was called BioTexCom and I know that the prices there are affordable.
You don’t have to look for the surrogate. Your doctor will do it for you. The only thing you will have to do is to go through different examination. If everything is fine and the embryo is transferred, you just have to wait. You will receive a call from your doctor with the latest news. There’s a huge chance that the surrogate will get pregnant after the first transfer. If it happened, congratulations. You are about to become parents in 9 months. You will be allowed to visit your surrogate. But don’t forget to sign an agreement. It will help you to protect yourself and your future child.
I think you should talk to your husband again and again. This is really a great option for your couple.

 

geqasaffis - October 28

"Hey, Milana. I totally understand the situation you are going through. A woman has to suffer a lot when she is trying to have a baby and the infertile women who cannot do so have to suffer more. I know you feel very broken and upset. Your choice of surrogacy is absolutely perfect because it is the best way to become a mother. I know your husband does not feel good about it. But you need to tell him that the process is totally safe and you can become biological parents through surrogacy. Tell him how you feel and how eager you are to have a baby. Tell him that the clinic will take care of all the tests and procedure and it is not very costly. I hope he will agree with you. I can help you with the clinic but first, you need to talk to your husband before it gets too late.

"

 

kovenippof - October 28

It’s good to discuss your problems with others. I am happy that you shared your problem here to release some stress and solution for them. I would suggest you that you should have some courage to discuss these problems with your husband also because he is the one who is most close to you and you need his support the most. I know you feel upset when you see other people having children and you are still waiting for some miracle to happen. Well, my friend, you need to do something for yourself. I suggest you go for surrogacy and have your own child soon so you can answer the people who question you. It is a very safe process. Discuss it with your husband. I hope he will also agree for you to go for surrogacy. Stay blessed.

 

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