When it's Time Consider Other Fertility Options

It's easy for infertility to become an all-consuming focus in the lives of couples who are going through it, and it can be difficult to know when it's time to stop. For most couples, there is not a clear "end" to their quest for a baby, other than a successful pregnancy. Because medical treatments for infertility change so rapidly as new techniques and procedures are discovered, it may feel as though there is always a chance, no matter how small, compelling couples to try yet again and again.

Talk About it Ahead of Time

It's a very wise idea to discuss with your partner just how far each of you is willing to go in order to have a baby. You might be surprised to find that your "endpoint" may be far different from that of your partner, so agreeing on how far is too far before you start is the best way to proceed. For infertile couples, and oftentimes, most especially the woman, the desire to have a baby can be almost overwhelming. When you are in the middle of this desire, it can be all you think about, making it difficult to be honest in your evaluation regarding what's truly best for all involved. It takes a great deal of courage to accept that the present fertility treatments will not allow you to have a biological child, and it's a process which takes time and will be emotional. When you discuss the lengths you are willing to go to with your partner, try to listen to his or her feelings without judgment. Even if you are miles apart on how far you are willing to go, be supportive of the other person's opinions.

Health is a Factor

When you and your partner are deciding whether to end your infertility treatments or carry on, consider how you are both feeling physically as well as emotionally. After many rounds of IVF, many women feel completely depleted, physically and mentally. They may be exhausted and feel incapable of facing yet another infertility treatment. The fertility drugs may cause painful or adverse symptoms, including wide mood swings as well as physical pain. On the emotional side both partners can feel sad, depressed, angry, and mentally wrung out.

The Financial Devastation of Infertility Treatments

Unfortunate though it may be, treatment for infertility is a very big business, therefore extremely expensive. How stable are your present finances? Can you afford more treatments? Will it be necessary to take out another loan or mortgage to finance another round of treatment? Have you already dipped into long-term investments or even retirement funds? If you are already deeply in debt and simply cannot afford another round of infertility treatments then it is time to sit down and have an honest conversation with your partner to avoid future resentments.

When You Can't Remember Who You Used to Be

If you have gotten to the point in your infertility treatments where you avoid being around anyone other than your partner or your infertility doctor, and can't even remember the last time you had a nice, relaxing talk with a good friend, then it may be a signal that it's time to stop. Maybe it's been so long since you did something purely for pleasure that did not revolve around having a baby that you can't even remember what it felt like. Did you have hobbies you enjoyed prior to starting fertility treatments, or did you take great pleasure in reading a good book, participating in sports or simply going to a movie, but haven't done any of those things for a very long time? Again, perhaps it's time to have a discussion with your partner about whether or not it's time to explore other options. Finally, if you are so obsessed with having a baby that it takes precedence over your job, your relationships, your friends, family and sex life, or if you are showing signs of depression, then it's definitely time to consider putting a halt to infertility treatments.

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